I broke up with pickle juice ...

I was planning to go to the Warren Miller shows last night to get a $16 ski pass but I missed it because I got very sick. I worked during the day and felt exhausted and hungry. I saw a big jar of pickles and was tempted to drink the juice before I left work.
Yes, I regretted it. I conclude that was the end of our relationship. I don't think I would want to drink pickle juice again. I was puking twice and had to go to the bathroom more than 3 times within half an hour. I lost a lot of water and felt like I was stranded in the middle of Sahara for a while. I started to get scared and was ready to call 911 if it didn't stop. Miraculously I slept fine and woke up alive this morning.

Whew!